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Review by
E.C.McMullen Jr.
Slavepit Inc. / Metal Blade Records


How to write a review about GWAR? Their latest CD WE KILL EVERYTHING pretty much covers all that they have done from the past. They are not about to change GWAR, though they wouldn't mind forming other bands and trying something else: yet the fans won't leave them be.
"GWAR!" They shout, "Play GWAR!"
"We ain't fucking here as GWAR," The members, agitated, shout back.
The crowds do not care. With 500 to 5000 mouths, depending on the venue, the crowd can outshout any club sound system. "Play GWAR!"

This is a band who has become successful as the novelty band without end. Musicians so talented that they have even been invited to perform at Julliard for Christ sakes! Yet all their songs are about the crassest of human motives, the most disgusting of human secretions, the basest of human desires, all wrapped up in a package so hysterical that fans cannot wait for them to return and offend them some more. Like that weird uncle that you can only take in small doses, yet you still give him your time for his outrageously disgusting jokes.

GWAR will forever be the ugliest bathroom writing on the filthiest stall. The musical equivalent of everything Robert Williams and S. Clay Wilson want to be.

Once there was a band called GREEN JELLO (who became GREEN JELLY after Jello brand instant gelatin sued.) and they wanted to be a prettier, more accessible version of GWAR. They crashed with their first pop crappy hit tune "Jump", released from their second album.

GWAR remains, whether the band members like it or not.

They need no hits, hell, they need no album sales. Their show is what drives the fans. They are the Jimmy Buffet of Scrod Metal. Hardly a genre, since GWAR are shitting pretty in that limelight all by themselves. Nobody else comes close. Nobody else is willing to keep it up for a career. How many years can you sing album after album of songs about crap and sperm and puke and sex with animals? We are talking nearly 15 years of this!

Yet they do go on.

They sing their songs of human waste, drug abuse and ugly stupid people and make it funny.

They also make you think.

Especially with this new album WE KILL EVERYTHING. Take "Nitro Burning Funny Bong",

"Another stupid stoner song /
Oh can you take it /
Yeah, do a monster /
Oh, can you deal with it?
We won't respect you unless you get /
high with the boys."

That kind of dare was used on me a lot when I was a kid. It got me into drugs, alcohol, trouble, and the Navy.

They even used that kind of line on me as an enticement to re-up.

"What, you don't have what it takes to stick it out for 20 years? You can't take it?"

Why should anyone take 20 years of something they don't want? Just so they can prove they can do it? Do what? Be a freaking idiot and waste their lives? My Grandpa on my Pop's side did 20 in the Navy, but he loved it!

That's what GWAR: WE KILL EVERYTHING is all about: dumb idiots, very much like ourselves, bowing into peer pressure. Destroying themselves, even killing themselves, to fit into a niche or clique. Suicide for the purpose of conformity. When you start to think about it, it IS shit! It DOES suck! It sucks shit right out of filthy assholes to realize that you could be so stupid as to swallow infected cum like that!
Take "Escape From The Mooselodge"

"We've done it all /
I've humped God's nose /
I've reeked of booze /
I've cancelled shows /
Became everything that I've despised /
And my own hell I recognize."

For those of you not familiar with GWAR, I'm giving you the cleanest lyrics in their WE KILL EVERYTHING inventory. Unlike the late G.G. Allin who sang along similar lines, the members of GWAR look at the same filth and ugliness they see in the world and in themselves and laugh at the stupidity. Allin was too full of anger to laugh at the infection; too full of hate for the fans who came to all his shows And Did Not Fucking Get It!

GWAR: WE KILL EVERYTHING starts off with a little ditty called BABYRAPER and goes from that into FISHFUCK. This is not a nice band. They kick shit in SODS's face and that's how they play nice.

Still, if you have a strong stomach, a clear head, a sense of humor, and are not confused about who you are or your sexual preferences, you might find GWAR a lot of fun and a blast to blast loud! I give it 4 Perplex Skulls

Perplex SkullPerplex SkullPerplex SkullPerplex Skull

This review copyright 1999 E.C.McMullen Jr.

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