W.A.S.P.: HELLDORADO - 1999
CMC Records International / BMG Distribution |
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AMMONIA BALLS HAVE EYES
Back in 1984 Blackie Lawless entered the Heavy Metal scene by ass kickin' the
door down. He wasn't invited to the party and he didn't ask if he could
play. At the time, the Heavy Metal scene was in two groups, The Hollywood
hairboy bands like MOTLEY CRUE who were busy sucking up to KISS Sucksess, and the aging British metal bands who were busy trying to fight
off the young bucks like IRON MAIDEN who were taking over. Though bands like METALLICA were around, they wouldn't start attracting notice until the late 80's
early 90's. Blackie and his bandmates had no niche to become a part of
and they didn't care. They were gonna be somebody.
In the United States of America, these were the years of Reagan conservatism
and righteous hypocrisy was so thick that flies laid eggs in it. As the
U.S.A. and other countries chuckled over over the rise and spread of AIDS, W.A.S.P. released the single we now know as ANIMAL, only then they didn't call
it ANIMAL, they called it I FUCK LIKE A BEAST. Despite the fact that it
had incredibly limited release, the audacity of the very title made the
career indignants gasp. What the hell did this upstart American band think
they were doing? Didn't they know that was no way to get a recording contract?
There was acceptable controversy and then there was suicide, and THIS record was suicide for any band looking to ride that music industry
gravy train. As the Tipper Gores of the nation preened their feathers
back down, they assured themselves that W.A.S.P. was merely a novelty act, soon to be forgotten.
Of course, they were not.
Because for every person who had actually bought the record, there were another
thousand who had heard about it! Everybody wanted it. Even those who hadn't
ever seen the cover knew what to look for.
"This guy is wearing tiger striped underpants or something that has a saw blade
or something coming out of his crotch!"
So this "novelty" band got their recording contract and, despite
not having their claim to fame song on the album, went Gold on their release
of the same year.
The next year Freddie Kruger forever entered the minds of the 80's generation
and WASP released THE LAST COMMAND. Blackie was being bad again when he wrote and
sung WILD CHILD, a crazed and bitter love song about adultery, from the
Bastard's point of view. This was no Whitney Houston "Saving All
My Love For You" acceptable adulterous romance song - soon to be
sung by 4 year-olds on Star Search. This was One Bad Motherfucker singing.
Now WASP was on tour with a stage show that was oddball as hell. He and his bandmates
were cutting holes out of their spandex pants and shaking their flabby
white asses at their largely young male audience. No reviewer that I ever
read had the guts to ask about the homosexuality inherent in that scene.
As part of the show, women were stripped naked, tied up, brutalized, and
bleeding on stage. Knee-jerk reactions from the wild and rabid wing of
militant feminists were rendered hollow by the fact that, whatever was
staged upon the women, came back doubly on Blackie. In his persona he
was not only decapitated - a la Alice Cooper - but his larger than life
head was shoved on a stick. In 1992's tour for THE CRIMSON IDOL, part
of the CHAINSAW CHARLIE routine involved Blackie shoving a chainsaw into
himself in a bizarre ritual of Seppeku. Blood and guts were always everywhere
in a WASP show. This was never the dour, morose little satanic black magic metal
from Norway. This was evil Central America style. It was America's
sin! It was Headless Children! It Was Horror!
WASP never entered the halls of Double Platinum. Their message and music were
far too harsh and scary and could only be appreciated by the few who knew that,
"Sometimes WASP has a message, and sometimes they just rock."
Now it is 15 years since their entrance into the music arena. Blackie Lawless
wasn't a young man when he started this and he is a lot older now. Now he is the aging bull striving to fight against the young bucks.
Blackie wants to go home again and do and be the kind of band they were
15 years ago. As he says in the linear notes:
"Messages intended? Nope! Politically correct? Fuck No!! Saturday night knock-down,
drag-out get fucked-up till you can't stand up? You bet your ass!"
We've seen this before. KISS is trying to go
home again with their flabby wrinkled bodies and double chin faces painted up and stuffed back into spandex suits. I've seen them on X-Files and I've seen them on MAD TV and they were embarrassing.
Even when you are a kid and testing the rules to see which were for real and
which were bullshit, you knew in advance that you would reach a point
where throwing up drunk out the window of your buddie's car while cruising
on a Saturday night would someday be a part of your past.
Yet Blackie is heading towards his fifties now and still singing songs about
how nasty his balls are. Is this pathetic? Well it is to read it. What
you need to do is hear this album, because I'm not bullshitting when I say:
THIS ALBUM KICKS ASS!
Other bands grow old, WASP just keeps growing wilder! The whole song is about being fucked up and
on a one way ride to Hell. And this ain't no Doom And Gloom Enter The
Kingdom of Darkness Metal either! This is WASP style wild and mad and laughing all the way to damnation. This is Marine
Corps "Kill 'Em All And Let God Sort 'Em Out!"
"Sometimes WASP has a message, and sometimes they just rock."
Old on again off again veteran bandmates Stet Howland (Drums) and Mad Man Chris Holmes (guitar) are back
on board with Mike Duda on bass. I could offer you some lyric cuts but if you don't hear this album then you still won't know what I'm talking about, so forget it! A long time ago AC/DC did an album about a Highway To Hell. HELLDORADO is the car that rides that blister road. Take this CD for a spin!
5 Perplex Skulls.
This review
copyright 1999 by E.C.McMullen Jr.
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