READ MY REVIEW OF HATCHET

From Ed Peters
HATCHET TIME
It’s well past Midnight on the West Coast. Today is THE day! Victor Crowley officially becomes a reality!

Everyone at Anchor Bay Entertainment and Ariescope Pictures are very proud that we could bring Adam Green's HATCHET to the big screen. We are also indebted to the untiring efforts of the HATCHET Army, who spread the word of Victor Crowley's imminent arrival with an unmatched fervor and enthusiasm that only an energized fan base can muster.

And while we are still looking to add more theaters in the weeks ahead, now is the time to let your voice be heard – via the box office. Let each ticket stub be a resounding vote for truly independent filmmaking! And stuffing the ballot box is not only encouraged, it's downright necessary.

Also, if you are in the Los Angeles area, there will be a special “opening night” cast & crew Q&A after Friday’s 10pm showing of HATCHET at the prestigious Arclight Hollywood cinemas. Writer/director Adam Green will be in attendance, along with stars Joel David Moore, Joleigh Fioreavanti, Joel Murray, Richard Riehle, Parry Shen, Patrika Darbo, Josh Leonard and special makeup effects supervisor John Carl Buechler. We promise a very special evening, as Green and company recount their laughs and pains in bringing the next great horror icon to the fans.

PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I SMILE SO MUCH AND I SAY, "BECAUSE WHEN I LOOK AT YOU I THINK SOME FUNNY THINGS."

Adam has been working on HATCHET for a real long time: he finished his Louisiana shooting in the summer of 2005, the last film production to take place in that state before Katrina hit. It was also the year he turned 30.

Adam is a short, pudgy guy who looks every bit the fanboy. And of all the personal heroes he could have chose, he picked Dee Snider of Twisted Sister. Twisted Sister is a band from the late seventies/early eighties that was always a joke and the Sisters meant it to be that way. But just because their personna was a joke didn't mean that their music wasn't real. Somewhere between making fun of yourself and delivering a solid product, Adam found something admirable in Dee.

That couldn't have made things any easier for him when approaching Hollywood suits. It's one thing to jump up and say, "I wanna be a movie director like Alfred Hitchcock or James Cameron!" But to say "I wanna be like Dee Snider!" ...yeah ... you know, that just couldn't seem like much to live up to.

Dee's music career was short; his movie, STRANGELAND, was awful; He won't stop obsessing about his film and move on to another film project, and he currently works as an Internet Radio personality. Not a lot to show after 30 some odd years in the biz. But Dee did have anthems: Inspirational tunes from "We're Not Gonna Take It" to "I Wanna Rock" and more.

There is something about Dee's music that tells you, no matter who tries to stop you, no matter if you are even you're own worst enemy, you are never going to give up. You will fight everyone on the planet to fulfill your dreams and if that fight includes fighting yourself, so be it. I'll come back to this tangent in a moment.

So I've been watching a lot of Horror Thriller up and comers over the past few years from writers to directors and if there is one statement I've come to utterly despise its this: "Buy my "Brand X" and support independent Horror!"

Buying someone's shit JUST so you can say you support independent Horror, Does Not Support Horror. And you should never support someone who puts out crap, because they bleat some guilt trip "hook" about supporting independent Horror, or "R" rated Horror. That doesn't support Horror Thriller, it wrecks it.

How about I go out and support GOOD Horror? Or at least, go out and support someone who is TRYING to make good Horror Thriller.

I've read and talked to and listened to a number of people yap about their Horror book or their Horror movie and whenever I hear someone talk - not about how good their work is, or how hard they worked - but how the fans should SUPPORT them regardless, I wanna spit in their stupid freakin' face!

One writer / director bought me lunch on the Warner Bros. lot one day. He'd been talking for years about how crappy Hollywood Horror movies were (no argument there). And how his movie was going to "blow everyone away!" (Great. I'm all for that!) So on that day over lunch when I asked him how his movie was coming along - back in February of 2006 when he was editing - he said, "Well, I hope the fans will be forgiving."

I set down my fork and looked him straight in the eye. I spoke quietly so the lunch munchers around us wouldn't hear and I said,

"They won't forgive you. Especially you after all you've said over the last two years about how great your movie will be. If you don't deliver what you said you would, they will jeer your movie in the theaters and mock you in message boards across the Internet until another writer director will jump up and say that his or her movie will be much better than yours."

His face pinched up in hurt and anger. How dare I speak to him this way after he paid eight bucks for my lunch? But I was telling him the truth and doing it as quietly as possible. Remember, that I hadn't even seen this guy's movie yet. I hadn't seen it, but I'd read him hype himself on nearly every Horror Thriller website out there including this one. So I wasn't trying to cut him down, I was making sure that he wasn't fooling himself. He hyped himself so high and trash talked others so low, that he painted himself into a corner. His movie HAD to rock. No artist should EVER create a work thinking, "Well, I hope the audience will be forgiving."

When Steven Spielberg looks at the lackluster ticket sales to his recent movies and declares, "I don't care, I'm making movies for myself now." What he is really saying is, "I've lost my fire. I've got no more to offer." Steve has been running on fumes for so long that he can no longer guarantee great opening box office - which was once a given. These days he just wants to re-work his old classics like George Lucas; remove all trace of a talented man with fire in his heart and gut. These days Steve wants to re-make his movies as old and tired and politically correct as he has sunk. These days he gets mocked on South Park. Such people should go off and make reality TeeVee shows in the hope of finding someone who could be as good as THEY once were. Oh wait, Steven is doing that.

So let me tell you what Adam Green said at the Comic Con. Adam Green stood up there before a crowd of thousands and said, "When I was a kid going to Horror movies, I didn't go to watch torture porn or women getting raped. I went to get scared! I went to watch a HORROR MOVIE!" The audience didn't just applaud, they stood up and cheered.

With that statement, Adam drew a stark line in the sand saying that he would NOT be another Rob Zombie or Eli Roth. What was refreshing about his statement was, I really like Rob Zombie and Eli Roth. I've been praising them both for years on this site - but Adam had a point, and it flipped a light on in my head.

On the HATCHET poster it says, "It's Not A Remake, It's Not A Sequel, And It's Not Based On A Japanese One."

That was Adam's second line in the sand, saying that he would NOT be another Sam Raimi or Renny Harlan (not that anyone was asking for another Renny Harlan).

The tag line for HATCHET is "Old School American Horror".

Adam's third line in the sand. He's going to bring us the kind of Horror we saw back when all of these tired filmmakers were on fire! The ones that are STILL selling on DVD!

Pretty freaking ballsy!

Adam did not stand on that stage at Comic Con in 2007 and tell us how great his movie is. He didn't stand there and tell us to please go see his movie to support "independent Horror" - or "R" rated Horror: He didn't hide behind such drivel. Instead he asked us to please support HIS effort. He told us that he worked real hard on it. And that he hoped we'd LIKE his movie (not, you understand, simply see his movie regardless) because he did his best to bring us the kind of movie he thinks we want.

So I have no idea if I'm going to like HATCHET. I've no idea what Adam's "Best" can be. It could be great or it could be a turd. But I like the idea that Adam looks at a lot of the failing, faltering, box office bombing crap that passes for most Horror today and thinks, "We're Not Gonna Take It!"

I like knowing that he sits before his writer's table, and in his director's chair, and at his editing booth and thinks, "I Wanna Rock!"

I like that he knows how to make a stand without talking shit! I like that he knows how to promote himself without hoopla or hyperboly.

If he can transpose his attitude to film, HATCHET might just be kick-ass.

So here I go gang, I'm about to watch HATCHET. See you Monday.

HATCHETMOVIE.com
HATCHETARMY.com
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