GODZILLA'S REVENGEMOVIE REVIEW |
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Wow. What an astonishingly awful piece of crap. Based on my findings on the Internet, this movie actually features a compilation of monster fight scenes from other flicks with a wraparound storyline that is little more than a cheesy morality tale aimed at children. That said, if you're looking for a Godzilla movie, this isn't the one you'll want to see. Young children may enjoy it, but as Feo's website isn't aimed at children, I won't be writing this review from a child's point of view.
Our hero, if one may call him that, is young Ichiro Miki, played by Tomonori Yazaki in his only film appearance (probably because he makes Jake Lloyd of STAR WARS: Episode I infamy look like a Shakespearean theater veteran). He gets bullied by other children on his way home from school, and likens his bully to the monster Gabara. And when he gets home, he dreams of visiting Monster Island to see Godzilla. Vacuum tubes are apparently gold for little Japanese kids, because Ichiro first fights over one found in a train yard, then discovers two more (and a headset to boot! Lucky kid!) in an abandoned building. Unfortunately two bank robbers, Senbayashi (Sachio Sakai: GOJIRA, GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS, HALF HUMAN, DENSO NINGEN, KING KONG VS GODZILLA, KING KONG ESCAPES, THE SPACE AMEOBA) and Okuda (Kazuo Suzuki: TOMEI NINGEN, GHIDRAH: THE THREE-HEADED MONSTER, GODZILLA VS MONSTER ZERO, GODZILLA VS THE SEA MONSTER, KING KONG ESCAPES, SON OF GODZILLA, DESTROY ALL MONSTERS, GODZILLA VS MECHOGODZILLA) are holed up in the same building, and Ichiro also stumbles across the dropped drivers license of one robber. He takes all of his booty home to fire up his radio rig. When Ichiro sleeps, his radio allows him to contact Monster Island (that or he's dreaming - I can't be sure what was really going on). There he meets Minira (Midori Uchiyama: DESTROY ALL MONSTERS), Godzilla's lizard baby (SON OF GODZILLA). And Minira can talk, unfortunately for the viewer. They share their bitches about getting their asses kicked by the Gabaras of the world on a daily basis, and this leads to our morality tale about finding the courage to stand up to bullies and fight our own fights. Godzilla forces Minira to take down Gabara, and Ichiro considers this his own life lesson.
His timing is fortunate, as the bank robbers have tracked him down and kidnapped him because he has the drivers license. From here some Home Alone-style antics ensue as Ichiro battles the bank robbers single-handedly. Following that comes his standoff with the bullies. Again, what an astonishingly awful piece of crap. The monster fights are purely incidental, and Minira sounds like a dopey cartoon character lacking only a goofy "HYUK!" kind of laugh. I imagine even hard-core Godzilla fans will have trouble enduring this one, even given it's relatively short 69 minutes length. I give GODZILLA'S REVENGE one negative shriek girl.
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