HOUSE OF THE
DAMNED

MOVIE REVIEW

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UNIVERSAL DEAD
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THE CRUSADER
(COLIN CUNNINGHAM,
GARY GRAHAM)

		Review by E.C.McMullen Jr.
HOUSE OF THE DAMNED - 1963 USA Release: March 26, 1963 Associated Producers (API), 20th Century Fox Rated: USA: N/A

It begins with an old black rotary phone on a desk. Standard phone for its era, but the light and bassy french horns in the music are forbiding.

Every horrific thing that's about to happen starts when this phone rings.

Scott Campbell (Ron Foster) is roused from sleep to answer the phone. An old good acquaintance, nearly friend, Joseph Schiller (Richard Crane: MYSTERIOUS ISLAND, THE NEANDERTHAL MAN, COMMANDO CODY: SKY MARSHALLS OF THE UNIVERSE [TV], ROCKY JONES: SPACE RANGER [TV - freakin' Rocky Jones himself!], THE ALLIGATOR PEOPLE, THE DEVIL'S PARTNER) is on the other line. After an exchange of pleasentries and an apology from Joe for calling so late (he woke Scott early on his wedding anniversary night), he offers Scott a job. His company owns the infamous Rochester castle (a play on California's Winchester castle, no doubt) built long ago by crazy heiress Priscilla Rochester (Georgia Schmidt) whose family had her committed. The last tenant's lease has run out and they've disappeared, its in the middle of nowhere high in the mountains, and Joe calls it a "White elephant", meaning he doesn't know if its still valuable or worthless. He'd like Scott to drive up there tomorrow and give it a look with his "architect's eye".

Early morning, Scott and his wife Nancy (Merry Anders: THE NIGHT RUNNER, THE HYPNOTIC EYE, WOMEN OF THE PREHISTORIC PLANET, THE TIME TRAVELERS) drive out to meet the nearest real estate agent who oversees the property from a distance, and the house itself.

After driving most of the day, Scott, on a whim, decides to go straight to the old castle, bypassing the real estate agent who has the key. The old unkempt mountain road is rough and as they near the mansion, a KEEP OUT sign blocks the road. Well Scott has no intention of keeping out, man's got a job to do! He takes the road block apart and goes about his business.

Far from magnificent, the old mansion is an eyesore. What an ugly structure! Oh, and yep, the doors are locked sure enough.

After a meeting with the oddball real estate agent (Dal McKennon: MYSTERY MANSION, though mainly famous voice for hundreds of cartoons including the voice of Gumby) they have the keys and return to the castle. This is where touches large and small begin happening. The KEEP OUT sign is back together as if it was never touched. Scott and Nancy were only gone an hour. Who the hell out in the middle of nowhere did that and how did they know to do it so soon?

Scott and Nancy go inside and as they walk into another room, we see frightening shadows behind them, as if they're being followed (Cinematography by John M. Nickolaus Jr.: NIGHT OF THE BLOOD BEAST, ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES, THE DAY MARS INVADED EARTH, THE TERROR, THE OUTER LIMITS [TV 1963 - 1965]).

One shadow looks like a giant man (Richard Kiel: THE PHANTOM PLANET, THE HUMAN DUPLICATORS, THE HUMANOID, THE AWAKENED), the other, half of a man (John Gilmore: EL CASTILLO DE LOS MONSTRUOS, SPACE IS THE PLACE).

So they think they're all alone in the old castle but they're not. Soon they find a well fed cat. Soon their keys go missing. Soon they find their keys. Soon a woman shows up. Her name is Loy Schiller (Erika Peters: MR. SARDONICUS, THE ATOMIC BRAIN). She's Joe Schiller's wife and why isn't he here yet?

Soon Joe shows up and gets into an argument with Loy. Soon Loy disappears and everyone is looking for her and...

Wait a minute!

Isn's this supposed to be a Horror movie? Right on the poster, 13 Keys Unlock the Doors to the Living Dead.

The hell they do!

Where are the promised Living Dead?

No where!

Around the halfway point I'm wondering what all the married couple conversation is about. I mean, they have this great actual massive house, the Greystone Mansion, as their set, decades worth of imaginative scary movies in that place. Yet Producer and Director Maury Dexter (THE DAY MARS INVADED EARTH, THE YELLOW CANARY) goes nowhere with the script by writer Harry Spaulding (THE DAY MARS INVADED EARTH, WITCHCRAFT [1964], NIGHT TRAIN TO PARIS, THE EARTH DIES SCREAMING, CURSE OF THE FLY, SPACEFLIGHT IC-1, CHOSEN SURVIVORS, THE NEXT STEP BEYOND [TV], THE WATCHER IN THE WOODS, WITCHERY) ending the movie not with a scream, but with the lead characters basically saying, "Huh. Well that explains that. I guess we'll go home."

HOUSE OF THE DAMNED doesn't end with a shock, thud, or whimper. It just trails off into ... nothing.

Ugh! The first 20 minutes build the suspense and then: Zero. What a frustrating piece of crap!

HOUSE OF THE DAMNED has everything Maury needed to be great, and he let everyone down. Small wonder that, after a few more directing jobs like this, he ended his days as an Assistant Director, and on episodic television, too (demoted from Director to assistant director while working on Little House On The Prairie - and he stuck it out to the end)!

The actors, who did their best, and the cinematography is all that gives this a barely earned two Shriek Girls.