DEVIL TIMES FIVE

		Review by Max Glaessner
DEVIL TIMES FIVE - 1974 Barrister Productions / Cinemation Industries Rated: Australia, USA: R

So you've seen CHILDREN OF THE CORN and VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED already. You're not shocked by the whole killer kids motif anymore. You’d rather baby-sit for Damien Thorn then be subjected to one more movie in which a hazy eyed, pale-faced kid wreaks murderous mayhem on a responsible adult. That’s all fair enough.

Watch DEVIL TIMES FIVE, anyway.

"Why?" you may ask?

Because even though it's a shameless spin off that was made in the wake of VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED, (the tagline for the film reads "Not since VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED has death become so savage, or survival so hopeless!") the film actually manages to present a refreshing new angle on torturous tiny tots, one that is still in my estimation, pretty hard for anyone to trump. Although director Sean MacGregor (writer: BROTHERHOOD OF SATAN. Director: THE KILL MACHINE) probably thought that he was cashing in on an ongoing cultural trend by bringing this piece to life, the youth offenders in his movie are unlike any others that I've seen. The thing that makes the kids in DEVIL TIMES FIVE unique is that their malice doesn't spring from any sort of supernatural source. These children aren’t possessed by the Devil, or an extra terrestrial comet for that matter. They don't have animal familiars (like Rottweilers, for example) and they don't possess any powers of hypnosis over the unsuspecting adults. The real source of evil in the killer kiddies of DEVIL TIMES FIVE is much more natural than all that. These little guys and gals are just normal every day psychopaths. They don't need a reason to be evil; they were just born that way.

Sound familiar? Sure! There's THE BAD SEED, which was made in 1953. What's the difference? Well, in this movie there's not just one bad seed. There are five of them. A whole posse of seeds who were so bad, they didn't even get to grow up in a home like sweet pig-tailed Rhoda. They wuz already incarcerated, yo! Think of all the escaped cronies from the cookoo's nest in ALONE IN THE DARK and then shrink those mangy maniacs down to pint size. Then you've got the outlaw brats who inhabit our film.

The story begins when a van transporting these children from one mental asylum to another goes berserk on an icy mountain road and topples down a steep slope, spilling the miniature menaces into freedom. Choosing to stick together, they form a traveling band of miscreants quite typical of the exploitation genre. Each of them with an individual psychosis or violent fetish and each of them armed to the baby teeth!

The leader and presumably oldest of the group is Sister Hannah (Gaile Smale), a tall pale and gangly girl who disguises herself as a young sister in a convent by cloaking herself in a Nun’s habit. Her fellow inmates, though a little less scary to look at, are all equally unique in their over the top, or in some cases almost adult acting.

Brian (Tierre Turner: stunt man: PREDATOR 2, ANACONDA, THE FACULTY, HOOD OF HORROR) is a small but commanding little black boy who thinks that he's a soldier. He dresses in full uniform, carries a plastic M-16, and even directs the agenda of the group according to military time.

Then there's David, a suspiciously effeminate little dude with a habit of playing dress up in ladies clothes, brilliantly portrayed by child sensation Leif Garret (scores of crappy disco tunes including: I Was Made For Dancin').

In addition to these three lovelies we have Susan (Tia Thompson) a girl obsessed with lighting things on fire, and a giggly inquisitive cherub named Moe (Dawn Lyn Nerwick: real life sister of Leif). Once these kids ascend into the mountains, we can figure that wherever they are headed, there is going to be lots of trouble for the folks who take them in. Trouble of the Manson Family variety, of course.

Title could be worse. They could have called it,
THE HORRIBLE HOUSE ON THE HILL!
And by Cthulhu's beard, they Wanted To!

Now, the original, if misguided, title that appears at the beginning of this film is "The Horrible House on the Hill", and that’s because the majority of DEVIL TIMES FIVE takes place in a cottage at the top of the snow peaked mountains, inhabited by three vacationing couples.

The head of the house is Papa Doc, a red bearded, macho, Ernest Hemingway type, courtesy of tough guy character actor Gene Evans (BEHEMOTH THE SEA MONSTER, A KNIFE FOR THE LADIES). Though we're not quite clear exactly what it is that Papa Doc does for a living, he is very proud to be a self made millionaire, and he takes every opportunity he can to brag about his material wealth, as well as to humiliate and embarrass the other two men in the house. Both employees of his, apparently, who have dragged their wives along for the weekend to Papa Doc's cabin, in the hopes of obtaining a promotion.

What seems to complicate matters in the house, is that unbeknownst to Papa Doc, his trophy wife Lovely (Carolyn Stellar: Mother of Leif) is sneaking around like a nymphet, trying to make it with every single man in the place! Lovely makes a pass at the mentally stunted rabbit loving butler Ralph (John Durren: writer: DEVIL TIMES FIVE) and even starts a catfight with Julie (Joan McCall: GRIZZLY, PREDATOR: THE CONCERT) when she tells her that she's already "balled" her fiancé, Rick (Taylor Lacher).

I should also probably mention that Julie is Papa Doc's daughter which makes this love triangle all the more strange and disturbing. All in all, the conflicts presented between the adults are standard b-movie fare, and while the first half of the film drags a bit, these hilarious instances ultimately expose us to the strengths and weaknesses of a group of people who will ultimately fall victim to some pretty nasty pre-teens.

By the time the Devil's five escapees show up at the doorstep, they are received with open arms. It seems like all the grown folk could use a break from their sex-charged bickering and jockeying for position with Papa Doc, so when the unfamiliar rugrats arrive looking tired and cold, there are no questions asked. Maybe on the heels of the Tate Labianca slayings in the early seventies, everyone was so worried about long haired hippie freaks showing up at their house, they wouldn’t have had the same suspicions about a team of lost children. No one tries to call their parents (the adults discover that the phone line is mysteriously out), and no one pries too much into where these children are from. Its generally assumed that creepy Sister Hannah is looking after the kids, so the adults to continue to go about their vacation, entertaining the little children as if they were additional guests.

In a most memorable scene, Little Moe asks Papa Doc about the scary sharp-toothed fishies that he keeps in a tank in the living room.
"They're PIR-AN-YA" he tells the girl, and tries to force her into feeding them, though he lives to regret this later.

Another moment, which can't go without mentioning, is young Leif Garret (or David the junior transvestite), as he attempts to flirt with one of the men in the house, one Mr. Harvey Beckman (Sorrell Booke). The very idea of a pre-pubescent boy making passes, however coyly, at a full-grown man is something that studios today just wouldn't tolerate (in public). Maybe that's a good thing, although you'll have to admit that when Leif Garret says to Sorrel Booke on no uncertain terms, "You and I are going to be great friends, Harvey Beckman," it makes you laugh and cringe at the very same time! This may have been the finest performance Leif Garret has given in his entire life. One gets the feeling that he may not have grasped the maturity of his role at the time he was acting it, but as with all good B movies, that's what makes it all the more wonderful.

I'm not going to waste any time giving away the killings in this movie. You can suffice it to say that they happen in abundance, for the most part about three quarters into the film, although we do get some deaths early on to keep our appetites whetted. In two of the killings, MacGregor utilizes some slow motion camera technique, which really is agonizingly slow, but thankfully, there are plenty more deaths to follow these, and enough graphic violence to satisfy any seasoned gore hound.

A lot of the methods these kids employ to kill these people are really inventive. Maculey Culkin probably could have studied these scenes to prep himself for Home Alone. Remember what I said, about the PIR-AN-YA? This movie delivers on the laughs and the blood! And while it might be a little bit skinny on the scares, there are actually a few moments that do come off as legitimately eerie.

For me, these moments were less related to the actual killings and more related to Sister Hannah, the ruthless matriarch of the children. Actress Gaile Smale really does fit the role. In fact she's never been credited with any other acting role besides this one, to my knowledge. Sean MacGregor does a good job of cinematically establishing Sister Hannah as an infernal power, either by showing us the shadow of her nun's costume on the wall while she brandishes a sickle, or by cloaking her in red, allowing her to float like an angel of death through the woods. Out of all the kids, who are mostly cute and cuddly despite their psychosis, Sister Hannah is the only one who seems like Satan might actually possess her. If you look closely enough at the blank slate look on her face in all of her scenes, I think you'll see what I mean.

In closing, this movie is not one of the finest ever made but that's not why you rented it. If you sit down to watch this one, its because you're into campy 70s exploitation, women wrestling in their night gowns, kids that kill people, and Leif Garret. If you are not already into those things, then you will not like this movie.

For those of you who want to see where all the murderous child chiller flicks didn't dare to take it (including BLOODY BIRTHDAY, which was made less than ten years later in '81), then this one's for you. You'll enjoy this film a lot, so long as you remember that it has absolutely no socially redeeming value whatsoever. A true relic of "so bad its good", I award this five negative shriek girls. One for each little Devil.

This review copyright 2008 E.C.McMullen Jr.

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